Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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