Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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