Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
