Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize