rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
