stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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