Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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