In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
