you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she looked like the before picture.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
