smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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