He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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