NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
