If i come over, it means nothing
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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