So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
