Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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