i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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