Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
