No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
