I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
