I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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