Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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