Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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