Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
