How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
