The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
