Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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