come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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