Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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