You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
