I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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