doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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