my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
