Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
