you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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