Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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