:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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