Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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