and next time when you feel me up, do it right
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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