so that wasnt chicken after all
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
