I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
