There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
