I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
