I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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