So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
