Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
do herpes really smell.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
