I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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