yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It's shark week go big or go home
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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