Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
