Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
