ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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