You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I am one with the molecules
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
