this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
