Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
