yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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