when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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